This is Rae, our most recent foster. Actually, “foster-with-intent.”
To be honest, I have had such a hankering for another dog. It’s something that I’ve seriously thought about, seriously weighed the pros and cons. I’d love another bundle of fur & poop in the house. I think Lela would benefit immensely, since Jack has decided that Bitey Face- Gator Mouth is suddenly beneath his dignity. Another dog would be fun for me and would get Lee Lee off poor Jack’s back.
I talked to some dog breeders. I talked to some folks at the SPCA. I talked to someone who needed to rehome the cutest Fin8nish Spitz EVER. The fits just didn’t seem right for one reason or another.
Then. Enter Rae.
Rae-Ban came up from a high-kill shelter down south, and obviously had very little dog-v-dog interaction or socialization during the formative years. She played very rough, but was all kisses and cuddles with people. I talked to the rescue and they thought she might work with another rough-playing dog (aka Lela), plus she fit my ‘requirement’ of being really kissy and cuddly. Sooo… I took her in as a foster-with-intent to see if she would work in our household.
Holy Crap.
Lela is a dog. So is Rae. However–combined TOGETHER– they morphed into a raging, insane Tsunami. They loved each other. They loved each other so much that they were constantly beating the shit out of each other. And they each savored every minute. Their playing was SO rough that I couldn’t leave them alone for a minute, even to shower. Rae would just bear Lela down and grind her into the dirt, grab her by the neck and shake her (like prey) or take her by the scruff and drag her across the lawn like a caveman (!!!!). She’d grab Lela’s ear and swing her around, throwing her a couple feet before leaping over to suffocate her into the dirt. I’ve seen rough play before, but never THIS rough. Rae was a monster. It was… I don’t know. It was insanity. And Lee just loved every minute… well… unless it escalated out of control, which is was wont to do. And they never stopped. Never. They couldn’t be left unsupervised for a second, and I had to constantly wade into the fray, separate them, and attempt a cool-down. Rae had to be crated during the day when I was at the office, then again crated at night or when I had to jump in the shower because neither girl understood how to keep their mouths off each other. I mean don’t get me wrong– they had their moments of gentle play, chasing each other around the yard and sharing a stuffed animal but those moments were constantly eclipsed by Wrestlemania Death Cage Match.
It became something I constantly asked myself. How much rough play is okay? If they both seem to be enjoying it, is it okay? At what moment would it escalate and turn into a dogfight (which happened a couple times)? How do you make dogs understand the command to ‘simmer down’? Could an under-socialized dog like Rae learn to play more gentle? Or was this just husky play?? How long would it take? Do I dare leave them un-supervised, even for a moment? How does a 1-person household supervise 2 insane dogs? Would I need to crate her every time I had to shower, take out the garbage, run errands, etc? How in the world would I get them to ride in the car together and not wrestle while I ran in the store? What if I was gone and they escalated? They always… always… got so rough that Lela would yell, I’d have to intervene or a skirmish would start… how do you monitor that with only one pair of eyes?
And Jack. Enter Jack, aka The Fun Cop. At first, Jackie was absolutely appalled at the play and was attempting to intervene in a way that I didn’t feel comfortable at all. Rae didn’t find his interventions appealing either and began taking pot-shots at him in the house, especially at times when he was struggling to get up with his bad leg, or tottery on his haunches while trying to lay down. He became afraid of her in the house, and wouldn’t be in the same room with her. Outside, she tucked her tail in defensiveness when he came at her like she was a hapless squirrel and I had to shove myself in to keep him in check. With some work they both began to feel a bit more comfortable with each other, but…. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
INSANITY!
Now my nerves were not only shot, but I found myself not wanting to leave the office at 5 pm. (Can I spend the night at work? Please? LOL). Lela and Rae were constantly out of control, having great times until it escalated and… they suddenly weren’t. Jack snarked and bullied her in the yard. She snarked and bullied him in the house. No one listened to me anymore. If I tried to cuddle Jack or Lee, Rae would shove her way in and not share the attention.Yet she always had a smile on her face and a bushy, waggy tail–such a sweetheart! I was really just enamored with her. She could turn from a rough-playing sumo wrestler into a mushy kiss factory in 2 seconds flat!
But. Sigh.
After our fostering period, I inevitably decided that Rae wasn’t the best fit for our household and decided not to adopt her. It was heartbreaking because she was such a good dog. Perfect, really: She was beautiful, she was playful, she was kissy, she was cuddly. She, Jack and Lela combined in the best way, and yet the worst way. I’m sure I could have made it work but the chemistry between all 3 dogs was too electric, my nerves were just shot to bits. You know how water, vinegar and baking soda are great separate but together explode all over the place? Yeah, like that.
This experience has made me realize how wonderful and how awful having a pack of high-energy dogs can be. It’s made me doubt my abilities as a dog handler and a dog person. And my heart–it just breaks over Rae. I usually don’t get teary-eyed over fosters but having her here as a “potential” family member plus her over-the-top personality just won me over. It didn’t work for us and that makes me really sad. Maybe this is what you can call “failing at fostering”, but not failing in the usual happy way.
I’ve never really heard about people who take in a foster-with-intent and then decide not to go through with it. I know I can’t be the only one, because some dogs don’t gel and some gel so well that the house becomes a 3-ring-freaking-circus. So for now I sit, back down to Lela and Jack. Will we find a good third dog to add to the family? I don’t know. I’m kind of nervous now. LOL, I think Rae Rae scared me straight! Maybe two dogs, with the occasional foster, is the way for us to go? I dunno. Just another thing to mull over, I guess, on the Crazy Highway of Life…
Who got it down? Who stole the bag of dog food from the kitchen garbage and then lay it up against the bed? It must have been Jack… but why didn’t he get into it and eat the 2-3 cups left at the bottom? He loves ripping things up and eating them. And what about my apple? Someone carried it to the bedroom and left it sitting there on the floor. It must have been Lela because Jack LOVES apples and would have snarfed it down. She must have done it long after Jack decorated the bedroom with 4Health.
